السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ
Sometimes you may feel like an outsider—even in a place you’ve been for a long time. You try to fit in, yet newcomers are welcomed more easily, even though the others have known you far longer than those new people.
When you try something new, something they could never have imagined, but instead of appreciating it, they belittle you. Yet eventually, they follow your lead—though never in ways better than what you’ve done—still, they make comments about it.
When they openly mention, right in front of you, that they have a group chat without you, and even talk about the topics from that group while you’re there.
When they go out together and somehow “forget” to invite you.
When they celebrate every friend’s birthday except yours (and you don’t even expect a celebration—just remembering your birthday and saying “happy birthday” would already mean a lot).
If you’ve experienced all of this, you really only have two choices:
The first is to keep trying—overthinking, adjusting yourself, and push yourself as hard as you can to be included in their circle. (Their circle isn’t actually bad—it’s genuinely a good environment.)
The second is stop caring about how they treat you, and instead embrace distance—choosing to detach yourself from them.
Of course, both choices come with pros and cons.
If you choose the first option, the pros is that, over time, you’ll eventually become part of their circle, be accepted, and belong in their environment. But the cons is But until then, you’ll constantly question yourself and change who you are. And you won’t know how long it will take before you’re truly accepted.
If you choose the second option, the pros is peace of mind. You won’t have to worry about how to act to gain their acceptance. Your life will be less dramatic, and you won’t need to change who you are. But the cons is loneliness. You’ll be left out, unnoticed, and often on your own.
If you’re someone who doesn’t mind being alone and doesn’t rely on others, this isn’t a big deal. But if you’re not that kind of person, I would suggest choosing the first option.
Life is often about choosing between imperfect options. And whatever you decide, you must accept it wholeheartedly and live with the consequences.
Neither choice defines your worth. Whether you fight to belong or choose to stand apart, remember that your value isn’t measured by their acceptance. You are already enough as you are.
If you can be at peace on your own, solitude can become strength, not weakness.
And if you choose to keep trying, let it be from a place of growth, not desperation—because persistence builds resilience.
Life doesn’t always give us perfect options, but every choice teaches us something. Whatever path you take, walk it with confidence, kindness to yourself, and faith that you are worthy of connection and happiness.
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